So GIFTED
I took a huge risk three years ago… I was standing in front of a classroom of secondary school boys, encouraging them all to chase their dreams; yet I felt a little bit like a fraud. I’d experienced that ‘life is but a vapour’, transient and not promised tomorrow, and realised that I wasn’t following my own dreams. So, I decided to leave my 9-5 in order to experience more freedom. Talk the talk - and walk the walk. I wanted to read more, to listen to more music, to watch more films. I needed to spend more time with myself and with the people I loved; I needed to have more time to think, and needed more to talk about other than how drained I was feeling.
At this point, I had been through the education system - I got a 1st at University (the first in my family), and a post grad; within two years of leaving Uni, I was the Head of Drama and a qualified English teacher. I’m a geek at heart; school was always a place where I felt safe. I understood the rules and understood what teachers were looking for. My mum’s a typical Filipino parent, so I’ve always been studious and ambitious; I excelled simply by doing the work that needed to be done. Thankfully, my mum created a peaceful space at home where I could do my homework, I had delicious food, and was occupied after-school hours within the world of theatre. Yup - I’m one of those characters off ‘Glee’, all singing, dancing and acting. School was a place of routine and I thrived. I was a typical ‘good girl’. Polite. Observant. Diligent.
Looking back, I now know that following the rules left me feeling accepted by others around me, and accepted by society’s expectations of me, but empty inside. Beneath the smile, I was living a life of unaddressed pain that began to resurface at unexpected moments. So, I decided to travel the road less travelled. I felt like I had learnt all I could learn within the four walls of a classroom, so I literally packed my bags and left. Within 6 months, I was back on stage as a lead in a West End show! It was mad! I then released my mixtape, ‘Life is but a Vapour’ (2017), gigged, released ‘Limit Less’ the documentary (2018), travelled, and came back to write about life all over again.
The further into this journey, the more I experience the transformative and empowering power of the arts. The arts allow creative freedom and honest expression - it allows a space for vulnerability and channeling stories that connect, challenge and heal.
For my debut EP, I’ve been intentional about creating space for vulnerability. I’ve opened up the space for people from different walks of life, different perspectives, and different gifts to trust in their own stories and to share in truth. It’s been an incredible season of challenge and growth - patiently allowing egos to settle and collectively discovering one sound together. Creating in one space has felt like creating a language of faith, transparency, and action: faith in each other and our own voices, the courage to be transparent about what we’re all really thinking and feeling, and the willingness to take action.
I’m proud to have voices of gifted artists permeate this EP - from a young female producer, upcoming British-Filipino illustrators and innovative female creatives working on the visuals. Behind the scenes, I have a visionary team of people who ground, support and sharpen me, and fresh BAME talent featured as a bed of angelic backing vocals. I’ve had the privilege of collaborating with some talented song-writers and musicians… I feel overwhelmed yet numb just thinking about everyone who’s been involved in the process of creating this ambitious project. Last year, I feel like I leapt onto a moving train and I haven’t taken a moment to realise and appreciate how far we’ve come. I say ‘we’, because this project is surrounded by a circle of love, acceptance and truth. We, because it has been nurtured and attended to since it’s very conception by people I’m forever grateful for.
Thank you to every single person who’s been involved in my personal and musical process: Kazimierz Czapski, Likkle Jay, Owen Cutts, Sam Roberts, Charlie Mburaki, Chase Young. To my glam team of magic: Emily Almodovar, Emily Macfie, Isabelle Lanchido, Rachael Mulligan, Tasnim Nahar, Nia Sookie. RAYA - Anna Cabanlig and Roxanne Gonzales - you angels. Tariq, you’re overflowing with love; thank you for coming through to capture the penultimate studio session. Lewis Parsons in advance for capturing me in my essence. Wifey, Melissa - thank you for a year’s supply of vegan treats and honesty when I had no phone to contact the outside world! Haha. To my rock, Kio Briggs, “I wish I’d done everything on earth with you.” Mum - I love you.
Thank you for being on this journey with me. Can’t wait for you to hear it all soon! It’s all within you xx
