Poetry as Self-Discovery: Dhayana Alejandrina
As we wind down the end of the year, we slow down to celebrate stories that soothe and inspire - like Dhayana Alejandrina’s - a Dominican writer, poet, and storyteller. At the age of thirteen, Dhayana moved to the United States with her family. Despite the challenging transition, including learning English as a foreign language, Dhayana’s gone on to hold a Bachelor and Master’s Degree. She’s been published in a book centred on #KindnessMatters by UNESCO MGIEP and Penguin India Publishing and more recently, Dhayana celebrated the first anniversary of her first published poetry and prose collection, Agridulce. We sit down with Dhayana to delve deeper into her journey; as a testament to her honesty, emotional grace, and organic connection with her community, Dhayana unravels how she breaks through the poetry space .
Dhayana, thank you for slowing down to hold space with us. Poetry has a way to express our deepest soul’s language. Can you share more about how you were introduced to poetry?
Everything started with my diary—the good old-fashioned lock and key diary. I kept a lot of my writing hidden, and like the lover I am, I was always writing love letters. At home, my parents provided a safe space to create and express my mind. In addition, both of my parents enjoyed creative writing, which made our bond even more special. For example, my dad would write poems to me for my birthday, and on my twelfth birthday, he gave me a notebook with his poetry. On the other hand, my mom was a bit shyer when sharing her work, but the times that she did felt like I got to know a deeper side of her. As I reflect on this, I guess you could say that I got it from her—not sharing my poetry with anyone. For me, my journal was my safe space. It felt freeing to have no one to judge my most vulnerable and raw emotions. Even when the blank pages felt scary, writing was a way to connect to the truth—it is an act of self-discovery.
It’s so interesting how our relationships with our parents play into our journey of self-discovery. Can you share more how your early relationships with your parents play into your writing?
For me, writing has always been a journey of healing, discovery, and liberation.
As an immigrant child coming from a divorced family, I had to “grow up” fast and too often, I hid my emotions. This started to happen once I moved to the United States with my mum because we only had each other—even though she remarried, it wasn't the happiest marriage. Therefore, I found myself taking on her emotions and hiding mine to cheer her up. I was doing this way too early and did not realise how it would affect me later. For years after moving out, I still felt like I didn’t have a voice, meaning that I hid my true emotions and thoughts because I didn't want to hurt anyone’s feelings or feel misunderstood. I put myself last for so long. After going through different life experiences, I realised that as much as I would love to see my parents have the life they deserve, I cannot place that responsibility on my shoulders. Everyone is responsible for their own happiness and healing. There were times that I wrote letters upon letters about the anger, sadness, or loss I felt throughout the journey of seeing my parents’ divorce and moving to another country. I took time and a lot of grace to allow myself to let go. I feel for a lot of immigrant children who go through an immense amount of emotional trauma and emotional suppression with no way to discuss them. All that I can truly say is that we must learn to have healthy boundaries for ourselves and even the trauma of family members—no matter how much we love them. We must take care of ourselves spiritually, physically, and emotionally first. This will allow us to be a better helping hand to others.
In your work, there’s a sense of welcoming and ‘embracing of all types of emotions’ - including dualities like the sweet and the sour in life. You’ve travelled from the Dominican Republic, to Pennsylvania, Japan, and have circled back to Florida in the United States - how has travelling influenced your writing process and perspective?
Traveling opened my heart even more towards the simple things in life—the moments and people that can’t be easily forgotten. Every single transition in my life has marked the start of a new journey filled with life changing lessons—even the ones that had me feeling hopeless. Those were the times when writing saved me, held me, and embraced me without judgement. My writing has grown with me, and my journal has experienced it all. When I open it and start reading from the beginning, I can feel the little girl who had just moved to the United States and was trying to fit in. Then as I progress, I see her growing, feeling, questioning, hurting, falling apart, then picking herself up. It is extremely sentimental, everything. I am very proud of the past versions of myself for being courageous enough to dive deeper and face life with so much love and gentleness—and my writing reflects this. My goal is to always be authentic and intentional with how I express myself, so others understand that feeling is not a weakness, but an essential part of life.
Do you have advice for someone who hasn’t had a journal practice and is at the beginning of their self-healing journey?
Based on conversations I’ve had with people, everyone has their own unique process or writing ritual. For example, when it comes to my environment, I like to light candles or incense while playing meditation music, or no music at all. I like to be able to hear my thoughts as they develop. On the other hand, when it comes to my writing process, I do not have much structure—unless I am working on a project that I’ve already started on. In other words, I just go with the flow of what comes to me when I am writing. There are times when only the title of a poem comes to me, and I allow myself to sit with it before writing. Just like there are times when I need to journal the emotions that I’ve been keeping inside and not properly communicating. The process of journaling is intimate and doesn’t require prerequisites. That’s one thing I would tell anyone wanting to start writing their emotions and thoughts. It’s up to you to explore your preferred form of creative expression and be patient as you feel these emotions. Some ways to explore creativity can be drawing, writing music, dancing, sculpting, or using writing prompts as guidance. Start small. When I first started writing, I would document quotes from other writers, and then over time my own words started to pour. We always need inspiration to encourage us to start.
Here are some prompts to get started:
Where do I feel the most at peace?
Who am I when I am the happiest?
Who am I with when I’m the happiest?
What was your favourite meal to eat when you were young?
When I am around nature, I feel….
What am I feeling in this moment?
What parts of myself am I still hiding?
Will people still love me if I share these parts of myself?
Would I feel guilty if I showed these parts of myself? Why?
Who am I without my accomplishments?
What is my deepest fear? How can I change the perspective on it?
These are so nourishing and deep! We love them - thank you. Community has been key to building your presence and serving more people through your writing…
Yes - my community is everything! I am grateful for all the soulful connections and friendships that writing has brought into my life. I created my page in 2018 and this was a very vulnerable time in my life as I was stepping out of my comfort zone to share my words. It all feels like it was just yesterday. I remember how it felt to connect with other writers and see that I wasn’t the only one feeling what I was feeling.
As I grew, my writing and connections did too. Although at first it had frightened me to step out of my comfort zone, I realized that my creative journey is my spiritual gift. Therefore, I gave myself permission to be open, vulnerable, learn, and make mistakes along the way—always welcoming the lessons. From there on, I started to attend more writing workshops and poetry open mics online. Then, when I travelled back to the States after living in Japan for four years, things really kicked off for me creatively. At this point, the manuscript for Agridulce was nearly done and I was considering publishing but had no clue how. After doing plenty of research, I found Gatekeepers Press Publishing and they took me in like family as I navigated through publishing my first book. Shortly after that I met with Angy, the founder of Dominican Writers Association for a consultation, and she was just amazing. She offered guidance, ideas, and really got me started with how I should promote my book. I am blessed to have the community I have because they are one of the reasons why I am here today—I couldn’t have done it alone. Everything I’ve built and the community I have is mainly online, which makes it even more of a special moment for me when I meet them personally. I have friends across the world that I’m excited to meet.
That’s how my journey has been. I took a leap of faith towards what I am passionate about, and everything has fallen into place so beautifully. I will continue to lead with love, honestly, and authenticity in all that I do.
We love to share recommendations to our readers. What are you:
Listening to? Lately I have been listening to a lot of old Frank Ocean, Sade, D’ Angelo, and Daniel Ceasar. The vibe from these amazing singers is truly beautiful. At the same time, I can never start my day without some Bad Bunny or Juan Luis Guerra.
Reading? ‘The Inner Dance: A Guide to Spiritual and Psychological Unfolding’, by Diane Mariechild and ‘How We Heal’ by Alex Elle.
Watching? Surprisingly, I love horror films and shows! The latest movie I watched was ‘The Invitation’ with Nathalie Emmanuel. On the other hand, I am also an Anime fan, and I am currently watching ‘My Hero Academia’ and ‘One Piece’ while waiting for ‘Demon Slayer’ to come out. I know my taste is perhaps very unexpected haha. Lastly, I’ve been watching the documentary ‘Ancient Apocalypse.’
We’d love to know what’s next for you…
Absolutely! I have some beautiful online collaborations coming up for the month of December. One of them is a wellness and healing workshop with #WeAllGrow Latina and an IG Live conversation with other writers about publishing, poetry, and more. Also, I have a Masterclass workshop in February 2023 with the Permission to Write community. This workshop is titled “Branding Your Writing Profile” and will provide so much information for writers of any level on how to brand their page, create pitches for collaborations, and more. Highly recommend it.
Aside from these projects, I am slowly working on a few of my own that I can’t wait to share with the community once they are finished. Keep an eye out for it! If you want to dive deeper into my work, you can also order a signed copy of Agridulce here.
